This parenting mistake raises mentally weak children

Sometimes, you have to let the kids figure out how to solve problems, or suffer the consequences of their decisions, all on their own.

That’s according to psychiatrist and bestselling author Daniel Amen. Parents too often make the mistake of “overdoing” their children, resulting in “mentally weak children”, Amen. said the “Built Different” podcast, in an episode that aired Tuesday.

Such behaviors — like doing your kids’ class project yourself to help them get a better grade, or giving them what they want just to stop an impending tantrum — limit mental resilience and a sense of independence. of children, said Amen. And children are very resilient more likely to become happy and successful adultsresearch shows.

“When my daughter forgot her homework, nobody took her to school. If she didn’t bring a jacket on a cold day, even if her mother told her to, nobody don’t wear his jacket,” said Amen. “It’s so important that when a child says, ‘I’m bored,’ instead of you.” [fixing] just say, “I wonder what you’ll do with it.”

“If you do too much for your children, you increase your self-esteem by stealing theirs,” he added. “[Humans] develop mental strength by solving problems.”

Builds a child’s mental resilience it does not require a “tough love” parenting approach. of harsh punishment, Barnard College child psychologist Tovah Klein told CNBC Make It last year. Trying to shield kids from disappointment won’t help them build resilience either, Klein said.

Instead, you can allow your children to experience setbacks, mistakes, and other tough moments—while letting them know that you support and love them.

“I see it as more empathetic, connected [approach]. “This could be tough, and I’ll be here when you’re done,” Klein said, adding, “It’s a message of, ‘I trust you to get through this tough thing, and I’ll be here no matter what.’ how it goes, if you win, if you lose, if you come in the middle. I’m here for you.”

Similarly, the more you encourage children to help the people around them – from everyday tasks at home to their friends and classmates at school – the more they will gain the empowerment and responsibility they need to face their challenges with confidence, American Psychological Association. noticed in a blog post from 2012.

“Let them begin to understand their problems, or the solutions to their problems, rather than being too involved with them,” said Amen.

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