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Raise a child in today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world is no small feat. While many parents focus on grades and extracurriculars, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.
This not only helps children excel socially; helps them grow in resistantempathic, and successful adults who can navigate challenges with confidence, foster meaningful relationships and lead fulfilling lives.
So, what do parents who raise emotionally intelligent children do differently? After years of study more than 200 parent-child relationships — and by practicing healthy habits with my own child — I discovered seven powerful strategies that these parents are embracing early on.
1. They understand the power of silence
They gave their child space to process their feelings and trust their inner voice. When their child was upset, they sat quietly next to them, offering comfort without words. Embracing silence can help children better navigate and reflect on their emotions.
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2. They called the emotions first and often (mainly their own)
By verbally sharing feelings – such as “I’m frustrated” or “I’m happy” – they taught their children emotional awareness and gave them words to express themselves. This helped her children see emotions as normal and share them openly instead of suppressing them.
3. They apologize to their child
They showed their child that mistakes are part of life and their responsibility is a strength. The apology built trust and showed respect, making her child feel valued. It also modeled empathy and taught them how to repair relationships.
4. Do not force “please”, “thank you” or “sorry”
This might seem unconventional, but they knew that kindness and respect cannot be forced. Instead, they model these behaviors, trusting their child to learn by example. If their child forgot to say thank you, the parent said it for them, convinced that the lesson will stick with time.
This takes a lot of bravery! But as a parenting coach, I never told my 6-year-old to say please or thank you. Now he says it all the time by himself – because he hears me say it.
5. Don’t dismiss small worries
They take their child’s concerns seriously, whether it’s a lost toy or problems with a friend. By validating their feelings, they showed their child that emotions matter. This boosted self-worth, emotional security and respect for their experiences.
6. They don’t always offer solutions
The best way to teach decision making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of solving problems, they asked, “What do you think we should do?” This helped foster critical thinking, confidence and independence.
7. They embraced the ave
They let their son get bored, which helped him become comfortable with quietness. This built creativity, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. Her child has learned to enjoy his own company and find joy in simple moments, like looking out the car window instead of needing a screen.
How to grow your child’s emotional intelligence
- Model the behaviors you want to see: Express your emotions openly, apologize when you make mistakes, and show kindness and empathy in your interactions.
- Validate your child’s feelings, no matter how small they may seem, and give them the space to process those emotions without rushing to fix or dismiss them.
- Encourage problem solving by asking open-ended questions rather than providing all the answers.
- Let them experience moments of quiet or boredom to build creativity and self-regulation.
Most importantly, focus on building a relationship rooted in respect and trust – because emotional intelligence begins with feeling safe, valued and understood.
Reem Raouda is a certified parenting coach, mother, and creator LEGACY – the first and only parent-child bonding journal designed to cultivate emotional intelligence and self-esteem in children. She has transformed hundreds of families through her courses, coaching and tools. Follow her on Instagram.
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